Soft Limits: A Deviations Novel (Deviations Series Book 6) Page 6

  “There you are. All set.”

  “Levi stayed the night?” He couldn’t help it; he had to ask.

  “Yes, Nikki. That was part of our agreement.”

  “Is he your lover?”

  Bradford smiled. “No.”

  “Do you pay him?”

  Bradford raised an eyebrow and straightened his shoulders. “Don’t be insulting, Nikki. Levi is no whore, and I am no pimp.”

  “Oh…” Wow, Bradford sounded pretty pissed.

  “We made an arrangement prior to last evening that he would serve me, and I would reward him with an evening of intimacy. We’re consenting adults, boy.”

  “Sorry. I was just asking.” How was he supposed to learn this shit if he didn’t ask?

  “Ah.” Bradford sighed and Nikki watched him as he grimaced and rubbed his forehead. “Of course you wouldn’t know, would you? I apologize for my temper, Nikki, I didn’t sleep well. Contracts, be they for a day or a year, vary in every manner imaginable. Why don’t you talk with Levi about it? I’m certain he’d be happy to explain. Run along, now. Be sure to have something to eat before your shift begins.”

  Well, duh. Of course Bradford didn’t sleep; he was fucking Levi all night.

  Nikki tried to smooth it over with a quick, “Yes, sir.” Bradford still looked a little annoyed, but at least he hadn’t completely blown it. He hurried off, stopping by the kitchen.

  “Good morning, Nikki!”

  He smiled. “Morning, Chef.”

  “Hungry?”

  “Can I grab a muffin?”

  “Basket on the table. Grab a juice, too.”

  “Thanks. How’s it going?” He helped himself to a muffin and leaned over the table, stuffing it into his mouth in big bites.

  “Fine, fine. You moved up fast. We miss you around here.”

  He shrugged and swallowed down the muffin with a giant gulp of orange juice.

  “Come by and chat sometime, I’ll fix you something special.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “You look great, by the way.”

  He looked down at his harness. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. That harness really suits you.”

  He smiled. “Thanks, Chef. And thanks for the breakfast. Gotta run!”

  “Be a good boy!”

  He snorted on his way out of the kitchen. He wasn’t sure why Chef thought the harness suited him exactly, but he didn’t hate it. It was comfortable and it helped him fit in with everybody. It made him feel like he belonged, and everyone complimented him on it.

  He was still chewing the last bite of his muffin when he found Jamison and another man he hadn’t met yet in the dining room having a conversation.

  “Levi was with Master Bradford last night.” Jamison said quietly.

  “Oh, yeah? Lucky.”

  “Master Bradford or Levi?”

  “Both.” The two men laughed.

  The other guy was about Levi’s height, young also, maybe twenty-five or so, and he had lovely olive-toned skin. He stuck out his hand when he noticed Nikki was standing there.

  “Hey, I’m Cade.”

  “Nikki.” Cade had striking green eyes too.

  “Good morning, boys.”

  “Morning, sir.” Jamison and Cade answered quickly.

  He blinked and stammered, “Uh. Good morning, sir.”

  Levi nodded to them. “Cade, you’ll be training Nikki today. Second floor exclusively, please. Jamison, you’ll take the third floor on your own.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Cade and Nikki, get to work. You know where to find me if you need me. Jamison, come with me for a moment.” Nikki couldn’t help but notice the little hitch in Levi’s gait as he walked away with Jamison at his heels.

  “Okay, let’s get to it.” Cade led the way up the staircase. Nikki wondered at the mirror that ran the entire length of the wall up to the second floor, but he found himself looking at himself in it, admiring the lines of his harness. He kind of thought Chef was right; it did look good on him.

  “I expected to see Brian this morning.”

  “Oh, he’s off today. He works pretty much the whole weekend in the dining room.”

  “Really?”

  “Well, he works through the dinner rush until maybe nine, and then he almost always has a session set up after that. He’s popular.”

  “Wow.”

  “I know, right? Between working and playing, he’s here almost as much as Master Bradford is.”

  Brian did seem enthusiastic about the place yesterday. “Where are we starting?”

  “I like to work my way forward. Start with the big rooms first.”

  “Sure, okay.” He followed Cade down the hall.

  “How goes it so far?”

  “Fine.”

  Cade keyed into the largest room, the one with the big cross. The minute Nikki walked into the room, he got the same feeling he’d had the day before. It was beautiful, for sure, and seeing the cuffs and shackles attached to it made his pulse race a little.

  “Nice, right?”

  He nodded. “It’s beautiful workmanship.”

  “It’s called a St. Andrew’s Cross. Master Bradford had this one made custom for the height of this room. Usually they’re up against a wall, you know? But this one just looks like it’s floating out here in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Yeah.” Nikki didn’t understand what he was feeling or what it meant—he just knew this curious piece of furniture was calling to him somehow.

  “You ask for it a lot?”

  “Ask…oh.” He laughed, feeling a little nervous for some reason. “No. I’m not a…I haven’t. I’ve never—”

  “Never?”

  He looked at Cade. “No?”

  Cade grinned at him. “Well, come on, then.”

  “What?”

  “You wanna try it out?”

  “Oh. I don’t know…” But his feet were moving.

  “It’s not a big deal. You won’t get in trouble for just trying it. We just can’t do up the cuffs or anything without security freaking out.” Cade guided him right up to it, turning him to face it. “Stretch your arms out…yeah, up like that. Just hold on to the cuffs to get the idea. And spread out your legs.”

  His heart started to thud in his chest, and he swallowed.

  “Wider. Yeah, like that.”

  “Wow.”

  “Got you going, huh?” Cade laughed.

  “Maybe?” Not maybe. Yes. He watched Cade walk a circle around the cross. They met eyes between the arms of the enormous X as the guy moved in front; then he felt the other boy’s eyes on his back as Cade disappeared behind him again.

  “You should make sure your Dom knows.”

  “Uh. Right.” His palms were starting to sweat, and he stepped away from the cross abruptly.

  “I come up here sometimes with Master Ryan. He’s a heavy hitter. He likes long, sustained scenes with a lot of flogging, so he uses the wider fronds and he can just go forever. Takes me right out of my head, you know? I just…float off. It’s amazing.”

  “Do you let him fuck you?”

  “Master Ryan?” Cade shook his head. “No, that’s not what our sessions are about. I mean, sometimes he strokes off after he gets a good look at his work, and once or twice he’s taken me that far accidentally, but that’s not the goal, and actual sex isn’t ever in our agreement.”

  “So you don’t have to have sex?”

  Cade snorted. “How new are you?”

  “I’m not a sub.” Really fucking new.

  “Oh! I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know Master Bradford hired anyone that wasn’t a sub to work in the house. I just assumed.” Cade laughed. “You like that cross, though. Are you sure you’re not subby?”

  He wasn’t sure of anything at the moment. He eyed the cross.…It looked so beautiful and dangerous. “We better get to work, huh?”

  Cade nodded. “Sure, yeah. I’ll replace the towels. You got the dishwasher?”


  “On it.” He pulled on gloves and headed into the bathroom. When he returned, hands full of toys, he caught Cade out of the corner of his eye. “Can you open this top drawer for me?”

  “Of course.”

  Wait. Wait, that wasn’t Cade’s voice. That smooth tone was Bradford’s. He looked up sharply.

  “Sorry. I hope I didn’t startle you. I sent Cade on to the next room.”

  Bradford opened the drawer and he put away a full set of anal play toys and a clear silicone vibrating cock ring.

  “Did you need something?” He pulled off his gloves and set them on top of the cabinet.

  “Oh. No, I was just saying good morning to Shiloh in security when I saw you and Cade on the monitor.”

  He felt himself blush, cheeks growing hot, and he just knew his ears were bright red. “Cade said no one was watching.”

  “Someone is always watching, Nikki.” It seemed like Bradford’s voice had just grown deeper.

  “I’m sorry if we—”

  “No, no. Technically no one broke any rules. That’s fine. I just thought, as long as you were here, and you were obviously so curious, that you might like to try the cross out—for real.”

  “For real?”

  “With someone you trust?”

  He looked over his shoulder at the cross, his heart starting to pound again. “With—”

  “Me, Nikki, darling. With me. You trust me, don’t you?” Bradford’s voice was so soothing, comforting. It made him feel safe. He thought he trusted Bradford, at least as much as he’d ever trusted anyone. More, even.

  “I do.”

  “Do you want to try it out? Just see how it feels? Nothing more…unless you want more.”

  He moved slowly toward the cross, his feet going all on their own.

  “That’s it, boy. Start by placing your hands flat against it. As high or low as you wish. That’s right. Feel the leather start to warm under your fingers.”

  At some point Bradford must have moved to the house phone by the door, because Nikki heard the conversation with security.

  “You see us on the monitor, Shiloh?…Yes, very good. We won’t need constant visual monitoring, but I wanted to be sure you were near the intercom in case I need you.…Yes, excellent. Thank you, boy.” He heard the click as Bradford put the phone back in the cradle. “Does the cross feel warm?”

  “Yes.” How had he not noticed before the way the material took on his body heat?

  “Lean your body into it. Breathe in that gorgeous leather.”

  He did as he was instructed, leaning his torso into the sturdy center of the cross and stretching his arms up and out.

  “That’s very nice, boy.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Hm.” He heard Bradford clear his throat behind him. “Yes. Very good. Tell me, Nikki, do you know what a safe word is?”

  “I’ve heard of them.”

  “The purpose and intention of safe words are very simple. Your soft word pauses the scene, asks your Dom to step back and slow things down for any reason whatsoever, at any point you are feeling uncomfortable.”

  “You’re…not my Dom.” Bradford was not his Dom and he was not a sub. He hadn’t consented to that—there had to be consent, right? Bradford had rules.

  “No, Nikki, you are correct. However, for the purpose of this demonstration, also known as a scene, I will fill that role. And you, will fill the role of the sub. I will not bind you to this cross without clear safe words from you. Do you understand?”

  “Oh.” Well, that made sense. “Yes. Okay.”

  “Good. And then your hard word will stop everything and end the scene entirely. Is that clear?”

  “Sure, okay.”

  “Tell me you understand.”

  “I understand.”

  “Good. So, give me your words, boy.”

  He thought about it. On the one hand, it seemed so silly. Why couldn’t he just say “Stop”?

  “Um…nickel and dime.”

  “So be it. Your words are ‘nickel’ and ‘dime.’ Thank you, boy.”

  Bradford was suddenly in motion, and in seconds Nikki’s right hand was bound tightly to the cross, soft padding inside the cuff hugging his wrist.

  “Oh!”

  “Too tight?”

  “Well, no. But…”

  “Use your words at any time, boy, if you have concerns.” Bradford’s fingers made quick work of binding down his other hand as well. “Are you all right?”

  He nodded, then wiggled his fingers and looked up the length of one bound arm.

  “I require a yes or a no, boy.”

  “Yes. I’m fine.”

  Bradford knelt next to him and moments later, his feet were bound as well. “There. You are safe, boy. You are in my hands. I will take care of you.”

  Nikki pulled gently against his restraints as he listened to Bradford’s calm, steady voice.

  “I will never leave the room with you bound in any way, I will make sure you know I am here. You are my responsibility, bound as you are, and I take that very seriously.”

  “Thank you.” He wasn’t sure why he said it, why he felt he needed to. Bradford’s words just moved him to speak. He’d never been taken care of in his life, not even as a child. The idea was comforting now, coming from a man like Bradford—someone who certainly had the means and the confidence to say such things. Someone who had taken time to prove to Nikki that he was honest.

  “You are welcome, boy. You look wonderful. The cross suits you. How do you like it?”

  “It’s—strange.”

  “Hm.” He could hear Bradford’s soft footsteps behind him, just beyond his peripheral vision. “Strange as in new? Or is it that you’re not sure yet how you feel?”

  “I’m not sure yet…how I feel.” He wasn’t. His spine was tingling, his heart beating fast.

  “You don’t know yet what you want.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t. I’m sorry.” He was sure Bradford expected more, and he hated to disappoint the man.

  Bradford moved around the cross so that Nikki could see his face.

  “That’s all right, boy,” he said softly. “I don’t require an apology. You don’t have to know, yet. I am just so proud of your willingness to try.”

  Nikki’s breath caught in his throat. Emotion gripped his chest and as he exhaled, he burst into tears.

  He felt Bradford step closer. “I’m here, boy. If you want me to release you, use your words.”

  He shook his head no. He wasn’t sure what he did want. He didn’t understand the tears, but right now it all felt right. Safe.

  Bradford was touching him now; warm hands slid across his skin as Bradford moved around behind him again. “Tears are a release, boy—they are part of this process. I hadn’t expected them so soon, but I should be accustomed to that by now. You constantly surprise me.”

  “I’m sorry…I…” He couldn’t get his thoughts out; he was wracked with hitching sobs and his voice wasn’t cooperating.

  “Shhh. Don’t ever apologize for honesty. This is your truth, Nikki. I don’t know what it means yet, but we will figure it out together.”

  He felt both of Bradford’s hands settle on his shoulders. “I’m here. You’re safe. Just breathe.”

  Breathe. Just breathe. God, he was so embarrassed.

  “That’s it. You’re fine. I’m right here.”

  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever sobbed like this before. He felt it in his entire body, and he knew he must look like a complete fool, but there was no stopping the flow of emotion and the physical release. At least Bradford didn’t seem to mind. He felt the man’s presence everywhere, warm hands on his back, soft words in his ears. Bradford was encouraging him, making him feel safe. Making him feel like this was okay.

  He wasn’t really okay though, and he suddenly felt completely exhausted, felt his knees give out under him.

  “Whoa.” Bradford caught him. “Let me get
you down from there. I need you to stand, Nikki. Rest your weight against the cross. Just lean in. Good.” His feet were suddenly free, and he moved them closer together to better support his own weight. God, he was just so tired. The next thing he knew, he was in Bradford’s arms.

  “Send me Levi.” He heard Bradford say, likely into the intercom. He wrapped his arms around Bradford’s neck.

  10

  Bradford sat by Nikki’s bed, watching the boy sleep, feeling anxious. Every so often he’d get up and pace the room, only to find his way back to his chair at the boy’s side once more.

  With Levi’s assistance, they’d brought Nikki to the brownstone, and the boy had allowed Bradford to help him off with his harness and to hold him for a bit before he fell asleep.

  For the time being, he just had to hope that he’d done right by the boy. He understood something of what the tears likely meant—he’d seen them under all sorts of circumstances. Tears alone were an interesting thing; there was always so much behind them to explore. Such depth of emotion, such honesty and trust.

  Nikki had remained guarded since the day they’d met in the café. He remembered clearly how the boy made the assumption that he would want sex in exchange for a sandwich. He knew he’d intervened just in time, that the boy had been struggling, desperate. He could see it. He knew all too well the pitfalls that had awaited Nikki in this city, as he himself had struggled to avoid every single trap that existed for a teenager on these very streets until his mentor, who would one day become his lover, freed him from that life.

  Oh, Harrison. I miss you right now.

  He got up to pace again, mulling over everything that had transpired in that room. It was possible that he had intervened too soon, that he ought to have let the boys have their fun and pretended he knew nothing of it. They certainly were not the first subs to explore tools of the trade when left to their own devices. But then again, Nikki wouldn’t have let go if the boy hadn’t already been overwhelmed. That dam had to have been near breaching without his help. It was better that it happened with him there to catch Nikki, both literally and figuratively.

  Nikki had given up a gift the depth of which Bradford had rarely received from any sub. Nikki had literally given up everything. His trust, his truth, his honesty—himself. But it hadn’t been an easy gift to give, and the boy was likely to be left raw for it.