Soft Limits: A Deviations Novel (Deviations Series Book 6) Read online

  “Unless you’re telling me you’re not interested.”

  “No, sir. Uh. I mean yes, sir. Or…no, sir, I’m not not interested.” Jesus. Why was he so flustered?

  Bradford grinned at him patiently and said absolutely nothing.

  He took a second to breathe and tried again. “Sorry, sir. I would be honored to serve you this evening.”

  “Thank you, boy. I am pleased.”

  He wished he understood why he was blushing. He didn’t care really that he had—he just didn’t know why. “Thank you, sir.”

  “The sub plate for you, then?”

  “Whatever you think is best, sir.”

  He heard Bradford’s breath catch, and he looked up as high as Bradford’s chin, hoping to get a look at the Dom’s face and understand what that sound meant. Seemed like the more he wanted to know, the less he understood.

  “You really are a treasure, boy.”

  “I…I’m sure I’m not, sir. But thank you.”

  “Hm. We’ll work on that.” Bradford leaned back in his chair. “Brian, small plate for Nikki and I’ll have the Cobb salad please, and I’d like a nice hunk of bread with that. Ask Chef, he’ll know what I mean.”

  “Yes, sir.” He watched Brian carefully pour out water for each of them, his friend moving gracefully but maybe in too much of a hurry.

  Brian gave a little nod to Bradford.

  “Run along, boy.”

  “Yes, sir.” Brian disappeared.

  He smiled, imagining that Road Runner puff of smoke behind Brian’s heels.

  “I am pleased to learn that you want to sub for me again, boy. We haven’t spoken about the other night and although I thought it went well for you, it would be nice to hear how the experience sat with you firsthand.”

  Jesus, couldn’t the man just ask if he liked it? All this flowery language was so…well, okay, it was so Bradford. Maybe he didn’t want to change it after all. “It was intense. I surprised myself a little. You surprised me a lot. It was a good experience, but I don’t have…I can’t really sum it up neatly.”

  Bradford had been listening closely. “That’s fine. You will in time, I’ll help you. But for now, it’s enough for me to know you felt it was a good experience. I am looking forward to exploring with you. Taking you further, staying there longer.”

  He nodded. “I want that. I mean, I’d like that, sir.”

  “Excellent. But I want more this time, Nikki.” Bradford’s tone was smooth and direct.

  What the heck did that mean? “More, sir?”

  “More than a scene. More than just tonight. I want a full day. Two if you’re willing.”

  “Two days?” He honestly wasn’t sure what that meant.

  “Yes, Nikki. Two days. A very short contract, if you will. Two days of consistent, continual submission.”

  Two days? He had questions. “So, we’d do a scene and…?”

  “Your responsibility to me, and mine to you of course, wouldn’t end there. We would continue for forty-eight hours, or thereabouts.”

  “With me as your sub. Full on. For two days.” How the hell did that work?

  “Exactly. Yes. Barring the use of your safe words of course.”

  “I could use my safe words any time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Even when we’re not in a scene?”

  “Any time at all, if you feel you need them. They are your words, Nikki, darling, and I will honor them always.”

  Wow. So, two days of…well, belonging to Bradford, basically. “What about work?”

  Bradford smiled at him. “I would arrange for you to have the time off.”

  “Oh. Well yeah, you are the boss, I guess.”

  “Just so.”

  Duh. He could be such an idiot sometimes. “Well, I mean, I guess if I can still use my words, I don’t see why not.”

  Bradford leaned forward. “Boy?”

  The way Bradford said that word was so intense, it sent a shiver up his spine. “Yes, sir?”

  “Do you want to be mine for two days?”

  “Well, I—”

  “Mine, Nikki. To hit, to hurt, to teach, to uplift, to praise, to bend to my will for forty-eight hours?”

  His mouth went dry and all he could do was nod. Jesus. Those words were hot. Seductive.

  “I suppose your rules are still in place?”

  His rules. Think, Nikki. “My—”

  “No sex?”

  “Oh! Oh. Yes. No sex.” Bradford could definitely turn him on, but Nikki still didn’t feel like he understood. Was it just a scene thing? Did it make everything more…real? Was there anything more real? It felt like sex should have some kind of meaning attached to it in a scene, and he needed to figure everything out first.

  Bradford nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. “I respectfully request a negotiation.”

  “Negotiation?” What? That was weird.

  “Well, it is a contract meant to meet both of our needs, so I’d like to propose a compromise.”

  “How…how do you compromise about sex?”

  He thought he might have seen a hint of a smile on Bradford’s lips for a moment, but it was gone so quickly, he couldn’t be sure. “I’ll agree to no penetration, no oral, no fondling of your intimate places. But Nikki, I’d like your permission to touch you in-scene. Your skin. Your body. I’d like permission to soothe, to caress, to give you the warmth of my hands. Not just in reassurance as I have been, but in earnest. Because I want to.”

  He swallowed back a rising lump in his throat. “To…give me…?”

  “Yes, a gift. To support and to comfort you, and to satisfy me.”

  He thought about that. “I have my words.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to remind Bradford or himself.

  “Always.”

  Nikki’s nod came easily enough. He liked the trust between them. “All right.”

  “And what about pain?”

  Right. He’d had a rule about that, too. But he’d liked Bradford’s paddle and he already knew he wanted to try more. Just to try. “Can you…take it slow?”

  “I can and I will. That’s usually the best way, Nikki, darling.”

  He nodded. “Then we…you can try some.” He had butterflies in his stomach all of a sudden. But he wasn’t afraid, or even nervous really. He was…excited? Anxious to get started.

  When Brian finally returned with their dinner, he put his hand up, refusing the plate. “I better not.”

  Bradford nodded to Brian and the plate disappeared. “Have some water, boy. At least.”

  He nodded and sipped his water slowly while Bradford ate. The man was taking his time and it was maddening. He wanted to get started. Finally, Bradford put his fork down. “Ordinarily, boy, at this point I would have you get up and kneel by me for a few minutes to find your headspace before we headed upstairs. I am willing to alter that routine so that you don’t feel uncomfortable.”

  He smiled; Bradford’s thoughtfulness was meaningful to him. “Thank you, sir.”

  “Not forever, boy. For now.”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

  “Good boy.” Bradford nodded to him. “You really are learning quickly.” Bradford took a sip of his water. “So. You will get up and go straight upstairs to the St. Andrews room, hm? You can take whatever route you prefer. If you don’t want to cross the dining room, you are welcome to go back through the brownstone and in the front door to the club, or even cut through the kitchen, whatever suits you. I’ll be up in ten minutes. When you get there, use the restroom. Then strip and leave your clothing in a neat pile by the door, and kneel in the center of the room. Don’t let your mind wander. Think about how you will please me this evening. How you will serve me tomorrow. Prepare.” Bradford handed him a key. “For the St. Andrew’s Room.”

  Whoa.

  He blinked at Bradford for a second. Use the restroom, strip, prepare…that was all pretty specific.

  “Something wrong, boy? Do you need clarification?”


  “Oh. Uh. No, sir.”

  “Go along, then.”

  “Yes, sir.” He popped up out of his seat, took the key, and headed back into the house.

  16

  Two days.

  The boy had agreed to two days without hesitation. Nikki knew the meaning of those safe words, the comfort it gave a sub, even if the boy didn’t completely comprehend yet the control it gave him. It was a constant wonder how few subs truly grasped the influence inherent in their safe words: the power it gave a sub who so willingly relinquished himself.

  It was all he could do to stay in his seat for those ten long minutes. He felt like a child who’d been told he had to wait to open a gift.

  Two days. A nice long scene tonight, a good night’s sleep at the foot of his bed, a boy to kneel at his feet tomorrow in his office just because he wanted Nikki there. Oh, it had been a long while since he’d done this for himself.

  And Nikki would get a taste of what he could have if he wanted it. It would certainly be an enlightening discussion in the days to come.

  He had such plans for this session: pain and reward, subtle hints at seduction, a test of endurance, all in the hopes of finding a boundary to push. Something for Nikki to discover and conquer, no matter how small.

  He stood finally and Brian appeared at his side to pull out his chair and help him on with his jacket. “Thank you, boy.”

  “Enjoy your evening, sir.”

  “Thank you, pup. You, too.”

  He made his way slowly across the dining room, shaking hands and greeting men along the way as usual. The club was busy tonight, and he was glad to see it. It was meant to be busy, meant to be bustling with men who understood each other. A safe place for everyone to be who they were without judgment.

  As he ascended the stairs, he took a moment to get his head right. Who he was when he walked through that door was so important, it would set the tone for the evening. He took a deep breath before using a second key and stepping into the room.

  Nikki was kneeling as he’d asked, naked, clothes folded, everything just as he’d requested. But the boy looked up sharply as he entered the room.

  “Eyes down, boy.”

  Nikki looked down quickly. “You startled me, sir.”

  “Then you were not in the right headspace. Tell me what you were thinking about.”

  “I…uh. I’m not sure, sir.”

  “I gave you specific instructions, boy.” Oh, this was going to be marvelous. He took off his coat and hung it in the small closet.

  “Yes, sir. And I did think about it, sir.”

  “Did I not expressly tell you not to let your mind wander?”

  “But I—”

  “Boy! What did I tell you?” He barked.

  Nikki flinched and shifted on his knees. “To think about how I would please you.”

  “Do I sound pleased?”

  “No, sir.”

  “No.” He rolled up his sleeves slowly, his actions far more relaxed than his words. “Crawl to me, boy, and apologize.”

  “Wait. Crawl?”

  Oh-ho. Could this evening’s lesson present itself more quickly or more clearly?

  “Whelp.” He said it smoothly. There was nothing to be gained by anger if Nikki didn’t understand what he’d done wrong. “Now you may crawl over to that wall and retrieve the paddle we used the other night.”

  The boy sighed, but he started to move toward the wall.

  “An acknowledgment is appropriate, boy.”

  “Oh! Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”

  “So many apologies. You’ll understand better in a moment.”

  Nikki stood up and took the paddle off the wall, then dropped back to his knees and crawled over to him with it. “Very nice, boy. Your instinct was excellent there.” He considered ordering the boy to carry the paddle with those lovely white teeth, but he felt that might be taking his point further than necessary.

  This time.

  When Nikki stopped in front of him, Bradford reached down and took the paddle. He ran his hand along Nikki’s jaw and cheek as he spoke. “Nothing I do is for its own sake, Nikki. I won’t ask you to crawl just to see you crawl. I won’t order you to lick my boots just because I can. Some Doms might, and it’s my right of course, but that’s not my style. If I choose to make a request you might find humiliating, there is purpose for it. Whether it’s a lesson to be learned, a headspace I need you in, a punishment, reward, or reminder, there will always be a reason.”

  Nikki listened, still and silent on his hands and knees.

  “Drop to your forearms. If you’re not sure what I mean, you may ask.”

  Nikki shifted so that his elbows were on the floor, and his hands and forearms as well. “Like this, sir?”

  “Like that. Very nice, boy.” He walked around behind Nikki and gave his ass a light tap with the paddle. “Sometimes I will warn you when I plan to strike you and sometimes I won’t. If I have a paddle in my hand, I think it’s a fair assumption that I plan to use it, hm?” Another tap to Nikki’s other bare ass cheek.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “This position you are in offers me your ass to do as I please.” He paced behind Nikki as he spoke. “I can hit you, I can touch you, I could fondle you or fuck you, were those things in our agreement. I could plant a heavy-soled boot on one of your lovely pale cheeks, my boy. Do you understand?”

  “Yes…sir?”

  “Was that a question?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Ask it.”

  “Am I being punished, sir?”

  “Ah. Excellent question.” Bradford tapped each cheek lightly again. “No, boy. You’re being instructed not to question my orders. The next time you do so you will be punished, however.”

  Nikki nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  Bradford went a little harder and the paddle made a satisfying thud as it landed on Nikki’s ass. “The purpose of a paddle of this sort is to help you find your headspace. Concentrate on it and my voice, feel it warm your body and calm your mind.” He began to paddle again, not hard at all but rhythmic, stroke after stroke, the dull thud of the paddle against bare skin filling the room. He didn’t stop this time as he spoke. “When you are in the right space, there will be nothing in this room but me and you.”

  Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Relentless.

  “My paddle and your body.”

  Thud. Thud. Monotonous in its repetition.

  “My voice and your breathing.”

  Nikki grunted softly and he picked up the pace, adding a bit more strength in his arm. For a long while, he said nothing. He continued until Nikki’s grunts had turned to soft moans, the boy’s ass was red, and Bradford’s arm began to tire. He backed off, first the strength of his blows and then the pace, returning to the slow, light taps with which he’d begun.

  He felt warm himself and found that he had relaxed more fully into his own headspace. He watched Nikki, motionless and breathing deeply, and decided that this was an excellent way to settle them both. He might just keep it in their routine.

  He paced the room and put the paddle away to be cleaned, then took off his jacket and hung it in the closet. Nikki didn’t move or say a word.

  “Boy.”

  “…sir.”

  “Sit up now, boy. You’ve done very well.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Nikki sat up slowly, settling onto his heels tentatively at first, but he seemed to realize quickly that Bradford hadn’t damaged him, or even hurt him enough to worry about a sting. “I feel much better, sir.”

  He had been about to ask Nikki how things felt, but the boy just offered a much bigger answer to him, like a gift. He felt the thrill of success in his spine, but he tucked his joy away for later and kept his voice even for Nikki, to help the boy hold on to that headspace. “I am gratified to hear that. Were you feeling nervous before?”

  “Yes, sir. Anxious, I think. Impatient. But now I…I feel…”

  “Calm?”

  “Yes, sir. I do.” />
  Well, wasn’t that remarkable? Again, he was convinced that Nikki needed this lifestyle. The boy took to it so naturally. Every time he worried that perhaps he was manipulating the boy, or forcing something that wasn’t there, every time he wondered if he was doing the right thing, Nikki would prove to him that he was. This time, without prompting of any kind, the boy not only found his center but he understood that Bradford had taken him there.

  Center was a wonderful start, but subspace was something else. Subspace was the goal.

  “Stand up, boy.” Nikki stood and he made a slow circle around his sub. The boy’s eyes were low. “Clasp your hands behind you.” When Nikki complied, he manipulated them a bit, lining up the boy’s hands with the small of his back. “Straighten your shoulders, spread your feet a bit wider. Good. Very good.” He moved in front of Nikki again. “Who are you, boy?”

  “I am your sub, sir.”

  “Yes. Good boy. So you are. How does doing what I ask and earning praise from your Master make you feel?”

  “I…it makes me feel…it feels good to know I’ve done well, sir. It makes me happy. Proud.”

  Bradford smiled. “Then lift your chin, boy. Show me that being my sub and earning my praise makes you proud.”

  Nikki did as he asked and the image was complete, the boy’s stance picture-perfect. Beautiful.

  “Excellent. This is what I will call ‘display,’ Nikki. If I ask you to display, this is what I expect to see. If I ask for a kneeling display, it will be just the same but on your knees. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Take a moment to be sure you know how it feels; then walk to the cross and face it in display, please.”

  Bradford waited patiently while Nikki paused, looking thoughtful, and then slowly moved over to the cross and settled into a lovely display position. He took a moment to admire Nikki’s back and shoulders, the boy’s thighs, and considered the various instruments he could use next. He left them all in their places for the time being and stepped close to Nikki. “Place your hands up on the cross, and get your feet into position,” he whispered into the boy’s ear.

  Bradford bound the boy in slowly, taking his time and caressing each leg and arm carefully, deliberately, with long strokes from torso to fingers and toes. He noticed Nikki’s breathing pick up slightly and tension creep into the boy’s shoulders. “Relax, boy. You are safe. I will take care of you. And you have your words. Give them to me again, now.”